Enchilada Blues




Solar Hair Cut

In mowing the lawn are we trimming the sun?
Heavy rains make our star’s hairs overrun
Nature’s own way of saying it’s rude
For growing grass instead of growing food

10 Days as a Monk

My first Vipassana 10 day course occurred in July of 2015 and found it to be one of the most equally challenging and beneficial experiences of my life. I’d like to preface all this with saying I’m not any kind of spiritual guru or have any aspirations of the like.  A growing awareness of the ever-present discontent in my life with self-destructive tendencies and patterns, combined with the tragic loss of a sister catalyzed my interest in meditation. In reading a few books on eastern philosophy and particularly Buddhism, I found what seemed a perfect description of consciousness and “Dukkha” an important Buddhist concept, commonly translated as “suffering”, “pain” or “unsatisfactoriness”.  It seems so intuitive that one of the main issues we humans face now even more than ever is distraction and the inability to live in the present moment.  I also stumbled upon noticing that if we pay attention to our respiration, we can connect with the present moment.  So often, I’d find myself constantly leaning into the next moment hoping it’s got something this one doesn’t.   I could see this everyday in a very broad sense working behind the counter at the liquor store and felt it within my life on a very visceral level.  Constant craving and aversion and it’s not so much that it’s all bad or good, but that at a deeper level it really does drive our lives if we remain unaware.   We can watch the news riddled with stories about passion, anger, hatred, murder, addiction and judge strangers while quietly shutting the door of our own hearts and not just to the world, but to ourselves.  It’s the things that go unexplored within our own selves that  trigger the judgmental reactions towards others.  Now, I’m not a Buddhist and from my understanding neither was Siddhartha Gautama, but the guy was on to something interesting that has do with the universality of this human condition and nothing to do with religion, rites, rituals, or dogma. Searching the word “vipassana” on the internet, I ran across this video.


So I quit my job at the liquor store and 11 days before I turned 35, my girlfriend and went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat at Dhamma Pakasa in Northern Illinois.  Meditation is not for everyone and 10 hours a day for 10 days is a challenge but achievable by those with some determination and openness.  A person can face several “storms” while sitting in silence on retreat and it takes a great deal of courage to face ourselves in a very deep, meaningful, and transformative way.  I’m truly grateful for this experience and wanted to write about it a couple years ago. I went and served another 10 day course in Texas last spring (Dhamma Siri) and returned last summer to serve part of a course in Illinois in August 2016.  I’m looking forward to a 3 day in September this year.   I hope to write more about them so people know that these places exist, that they are free and if you feel interested in learning more here is some additional info:


Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gotama the Buddha more than 2500 years ago. The word Vipassana means seeing things as they really are. It is the process of self- purification by self-observation. One begins by observing the natural breath to concentrate the mind. With a sharpened awareness one proceeds to observe the changing nature of body and mind and experiences the universal truths of impermanence, suffering and egolessness. This truth-realization by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path (Dhamma) is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organized religion or sectarianism. For this reason, it can be freely practiced by everyone, at any time, in any place, without conflict due to race, community or religion, and will prove equally beneficial to one and all.

What Vipassana is not:

  • It is not a rite or ritual based on blind faith.
  • It is neither an intellectual nor a philosophical entertainment.
  • It is not a rest cure, a holiday, or an opportunity for socializing.
  • It is not an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

What Vipassana is:

  • It is a technique that will eradicate suffering.
  • It is a method of mental purification which allows one to face life’s tensions and problems in a calm, balanced way.
  • It is an art of living that one can use to make positive contributions to society.

Vipassana meditation aims at the highest spiritual goals of total liberation and full enlightenment. Its purpose is never simply to cure physical disease. However, as a by-product of mental purification, many psychosomatic diseases are eradicated. In fact, Vipassana eliminates the three causes of all unhappiness: craving, aversion and ignorance. With continued practice, the meditation releases the tensions developed in everyday life, opening the knots tied by the old habit of reacting in an unbalanced way to pleasant and unpleasant situations.

Although Vipassana was developed as a technique by the Buddha, its practice is not limited to Buddhists. There is absolutely no question of conversion. The technique works on the simple basis that all human beings share the same problems and a technique which can eradicate these problems will have a universal application. People from many religious denominations have experienced the benefits of Vipassana meditation, and have found no conflict with their profession of faith.

Meditation and Self-discipline

The process of self-purification by introspection is certainly never easy–students have to work very hard at it. By their own efforts students arrive at their own realizations; no one else can do this for them. Therefore, the meditation will suit only those willing to work seriously and observe the discipline, which is there for the benefit and protection of the meditators and is an integral part of the meditation practice.

Ten days is certainly a very short time in which to penetrate the deepest levels of the unconscious mind and learn how to eradicate the complexes lying there. Continuity of the practice in seclusion is the secret of this technique’s success. Rules and regulations have been developed keeping this practical aspect in mind. They are not primarily for the benefit of the teacher or the course management, nor are they negative expressions of tradition, orthodoxy or blind faith in some organized religion. Rather, they are based on the practical experience of thousands of meditators over the years and are both scientific and rational. Abiding by the rules creates a very conducive atmosphere for meditation; breaking them pollutes it.

A student will have to stay for the entire period of the course. The other rules should also be carefully read and considered. Only those who feel that they can honestly and scrupulously follow the discipline should apply for admission. Those not prepared to make a determined effort will waste their time and, moreover, will disturb others who wish to work seriously. A prospective student should also understand that it would be both disadvantageous and inadvisable to leave without finishing the course upon finding the discipline too difficult. Likewise, it would be most unfortunate if, in spite of repeated reminders, a student does not follow the rules and has to be asked to leave.

Persons With Serious Mental Disorders

People with serious mental disorders have occasionally come to Vipassana courses with the unrealistic expectation that the technique will cure or alleviate their mental problems. Unstable interpersonal relationships and a history of various treatments can be additional factors which make it difficult for such people to benefit from, or even complete, a ten-day course. Our capacity as a nonprofessional volunteer organization makes it impossible for us to properly care for people with these backgrounds. Although Vipassana meditation is beneficial for most people, it is not a substitute for medical or psychiatric treatment and we do not recommend it for people with serious psychiatric disorders.

The Code of Discipline

The foundation of the practice is sīla — moral conduct. Sīla provides a basis for the development of samādhi — concentration of mind; and purification of the mind is achieved through paññā — the wisdom of insight.

The Precepts

All who attend a Vipassana course must conscientiously undertake the following five precepts for the duration of the course:

  1. to abstain from killing any being;
  2. to abstain from stealing;
  3. to abstain from all sexual activity;
  4. to abstain from telling lies;
  5. to abstain from all intoxicants.

There are three additional precepts which old students (that is, those who have completed a course with S.N. Goenka or one of his assistant teachers) are expected to follow during the course:

  1. to abstain from eating after midday;
  2. to abstain from sensual entertainment and bodily decorations;
  3. to abstain from using high or luxurious beds.

Old students will observe the sixth precept by having tea without milk or fruit juice at the 5 p.m. break, whereas new student may have tea with milk and some fruit. The teacher may excuse an old student from observing this precept for health reasons. The seventh and eighth precept will be observed by all.

Acceptance of the Teacher and the Technique

Students must declare themselves willing to comply fully and for the duration of the course with the teacher’s guidance and instructions; that is, to observe the discipline and to meditate exactly as the teacher asks, without ignoring any part of the instructions, nor adding anything to them. This acceptance should be one of discrimination and understanding, not blind submission. Only with an attitude of trust can a student work diligently and thoroughly. Such confidence in the teacher and the technique is essential for success in meditation.

Other Techniques, Rites, and Forms of Worship

During the course it is absolutely essential that all forms of prayer, worship, or religious ceremony — fasting, burning incense, counting beads, reciting mantras, singing and dancing, etc. — be discontinued. All other meditation techniques and healing or spiritual practices should also be suspended. This is not to condemn any other technique or practice, but to give a fair trial to the technique of Vipassana in its purity.

Students are strongly advised that deliberately mixing other techniques of meditation with Vipassana will impede and even reverse their progress. Despite repeated warnings by the teacher, there have been cases in the past where students have intentionally mixed this technique with a ritual or another practice, and have done themselves a great disservice. Any doubts or confusion which may arise should always be clarified by meeting with the teacher.

Interviews With the Teacher

The teacher is available to meet students privately between 12 Noon and 1:00 p.m. Questions may also be asked in public between 9:00 and 9:30 p.m. in the meditation hall. The interview and question times are for clarifying the technique and for questions arising from the evening discourses.

Noble Silence

All students must observe Noble Silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. Noble Silence means silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited.

Students may, however, speak with the teacher whenever necessary and they may approach the management with any problems related to food, accommodation, health, etc. But even these contacts should be kept to a minimum. Students should cultivate the feeling that they are working in isolation.

Separation of Men and Women

Complete segregation of men and women is to be maintained. Couples, married or otherwise, should not contact each other in any way during the course. The same applies to friends, members of the same family, etc.

Physical Contact

It is important that throughout the course there be no physical contact whatsoever between persons of the same or opposite sex.

Yoga and Physical Exercise

Although physical yoga and other exercises are compatible with Vipassana, they should be suspended during the course because proper secluded facilities are not available at the course site. Jogging is also not permitted. Students may exercise during rest periods by walking in the designated areas.

Religious Objects, Rosaries, Crystals, Talismans, etc.

No such items should be brought to the course site. If brought inadvertently they should be deposited with the management for the duration of the course.

Intoxicants and Drugs

No drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants should be brought to the site; this also applies to tranquilizers, sleeping pills, and all other sedatives. Those taking medicines or drugs on a doctor’s prescription should notify the teacher.


For the health and comfort of all students, smoking, chewing tobacco, and taking snuff are not permitted at the course.


It is not possible to satisfy the special food preferences and requirements of all the meditators. Students are therefore kindly requested to make do with the simple vegetarian meals provided. The course management endeavors to prepare a balanced, wholesome menu suitable for meditation. If any students have been prescribed a special diet because of ill-health, they should inform the management at the time of application. Fasting is not permitted.


Dress should be simple, modest, and comfortable. Tight, transparent, revealing, or otherwise striking clothing (such as shorts, short skirts, tights and leggings, sleeveless or skimpy tops) should not be worn. Sunbathing and partial nudity are not permitted. This is important in order to minimize distraction to others.

Laundry and Bathing

No washing machines or dryers are available, so students should bring sufficient clothing. Small items can be hand-washed. Bathing and laundry may be done only in the break periods and not during meditation hours.

Outside Contacts

Students must remain within the course boundaries throughout the course. They may leave only with the specific consent of the teacher. No outside communications is allowed before the course ends. This includes letters, phone calls and visitors. Cell phones, pagers, and other electronic devices must be deposited with the management until the course ends. In case of an emergency, a friend or relative may contact the management.

Music, Reading and Writing

The playing of musical instruments, radios, etc. is not permitted. No reading or writing materials should be brought to the course. Students should not distract themselves by taking notes. The restriction on reading and writing is to emphasize the strictly practical nature of this meditation.

Recording Devices and Cameras

These may not be used except with the express permission of the teacher.

Course Finances

According to the tradition of pure Vipassana, courses are run solely on a donation basis. Donations are accepted only from those who have completed at least one ten-day course with S.N. Goenka or one of his assisting teachers. Someone taking the course for the first time may give a donation on the last day of the course or any time thereafter.

In this way courses are supported by those who have realized for themselves the benefits of the practice. Wishing to share these benefits with others, one gives a donation according to one’s means and volition. Such donations are the only source of funding for course in this tradition around the world. There is no wealthy foundation or individual sponsoring them. Neither the teachers nor the organizers receive any kind of payment for their service. Thus, the spread of Vipassana is carried out with purity of purpose, free from any commercialism.

Whether a donation is large or small, it should be given with the wish to help others: ‘The course I have taken has been paid for through the generosity of past students; now let me give something towards the cost of a future course, so that others may also benefit by this technique.’


To clarify the spirit behind the discipline and rules, they may be summarized as follows:

Take great care that your actions do not disturb anyone. Take no notice of distractions caused by others.

It may be that a student cannot understand the practical reasons for one or several of the above rules. Rather than allow negativity and doubt to develop, immediate clarification should be sought from the teacher.

It is only by taking a disciplined approach and by making maximum effort that a student can fully grasp the practice and benefit from it. The emphasis during the course is on work. A golden rule is to meditate as if one were alone, with one’s mind turned inward, ignoring any inconveniences and distractions that one may encounter.

Finally, students should note that their progress in Vipassana depends solely on their own good qualities and personal development and on five factors: earnest efforts, confidence, sincerity, health and wisdom.

May the above information help you to obtain maximum benefit from your meditation course. We are happy to have the opportunity to serve, and wish you peace and harmony from your experience of Vipassana.



The following timetable for the course has been designed to maintain the continuity of practice. For best results students are advised to follow it as closely as possible.

4:00 am Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 am Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher’s instructions
11:00-12:00 noon Lunch break
12noon-1:00 pm Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 pm Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher’s instructions
5:00-6:00 pm Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm Teacher’s Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall
9:30 pm Retire to your own room–Lights out



Sugar Creek

One of the finest and easiest kayak, canoe and what-have-you creek trips in Indiana: Sugar Creek through Shades and Turkey Run State Parks. This video was taken in Autumn on the final day of trips before the winter close when the foliage was vibrant and warm and the morning air upon the water as crisp as a hand-picked Braeburn.


Vulgar Trees & Provocative Foliage


A coffee table book for the audacious arborist with a discerning eye.





Sammy’s Song

I love watching the leaves fall

High from the trees where the birds call

All of my worries seem simple and small

Glad just to be any part of it all


Long is the season when marigolds bloom

Bright is the evening of the Hunter’s Moon

Crimson the sky that says snow is coming soon

Autumn winds playing their own thankful tune


Cold Sunday mornings and taking long naps

A cup of hot coffee and available lap

Beautiful wisdom gifted by the cat

To be where you are and be alright with that


I love watching the leaves fall

High from the trees where the birds call

All of my worries seem simple and small

Glad just to be any part of it all


Battle of the Alarm Clock

Wednesday morning seems to me

The longest morning that could be

The sun won’t show her light today

The clouds hang low as if to say


“Sleepy soul go back to bed

With a weary heart lay down your head

Your troubled rest will bring you peace

Just close your eyes for sweet release”


But I the martyr awake instead

And slowly crawled out of my bed

Alarm clock beckoning to start the day

With its shrill cry I hear it say


“Sleepy soul awake from your dream

Your day is new or so it seems

The excitement, the journey of starting again

A new day has come so let it begin!”


But I, time’s martyr will argue instead

And smack Mr. Alarm Clock upside the head

His snooze is still sore from yesterday’s battle

His annoying chime reduced to a rattle


“Oh teller of time, you will not rule me!

I’ll not be governed by your philosophy

I’ll awaken when ready, and start a new day

I will never let you have your own way!”


“You’ve disrupted my slumber all these long years

The lost joy and happiness brings me to tears

In the land of my dreams I prefer to stay

Your incessant cry will not pull me away!”


So back into sleep, I quickly fell

To the valley of dreams in a transient spell

Mr. Alarm had said nothing more….but why?

In his quiet rebuttle wasted minutes passed by





The Great Pasture Fire

It was the summer of nineteen hundred ninety-two

Living on dad’s farm we had plenty to do

Feedin’ three growin’ kids can be pretty tough

So dad decided to go set fire to that brush


Well it had been a dry year, I should make that clear

The wind was blowin’ strong enough to knock down a grown steer

Weeners on the menu, dad’s mind made up

Took the kerosene tank to down and got ‘er filled up


Step-mom and sisters got back from the craft show

The would have stayed gone if they had only known

Walkin’ past the goats, John-Boy let outta scream

He saw dad walkin’ out to pasture with that can of kerosene


We’d raised a pissed of steer, he was the king out here

And started smoldering at the horns when he has us get near

The pasture was his, unless you came with a stick

You can call him Lil’ Richard, but his name was Big Dick


That was a match strike that’ll go down in history

How that fire spread so fast is no mystery

It had been a dry year, I think I made that clear

Dad and I never claimed to be no pyro-engineers


Well dad’s got us 3 kids and step-mom as new hires

We’re all putting out his Great Pasture Fire

Lord, I’ve witnessed some messes….this can’t end good

Pigme goats have taken cover in the woods

I’ll never live to see London, I’ll never live to see France

God, don’t lemme die from charred underpants

It’s all a true story, ya can’t call me a liar

Aimee, stop, drop and roll…your Jordache Jeans are on FIRE!


It only took a few minutes for things to get outta hand

The pasture went from Green Acres to no-man’s land

Flames were a crackin’, dad needed recruits

Handed each of us a shovel then slipped on his boots


I may have only been about ten plus two

Calling the fire trucks woulda been smart to do

Be we Brashear’s got pride, so with a shovel in hand

We started spanking at the flames as a foolish reprimand


It had been a dry year, I think I made that clear

The chicken’s were screaming “get me the cluck outta here”

Pee-Wee and Scrap we’re sprinting down the lane

Barking chariots of fire, tails were waggin’ in shame


Well dad’s got us 3 kids and step-mom as new hires

We’re all putting out his Great Pasture Fire

Lord, I’ve witnessed some messes….this can’t end good

A dozen creatures lookin’ on from the woods

God knows I’ve seen fire….no where the hell is the rain?

Fighting flames with shovels, but it’s all in vain

Feelin’ like Frodo, wishing I was in the Shire

But we’re stuck in Mordor with this Ring of Fire


Well Dad hooked up the plow and covered fire with dirt

Not sure his line of reason, but what the hell could it hurt?

Just about then, one thing occurred to me

That old rusty tractor leaked a little gasoline


Well that was it for Big Dick, he hurdled the gate

He was meeting a heifer down the road for a hot date

Just about then the winds began to die down

And for the first time in an hour we started to gain ground


The heavens must’ve been smiling down on that farm

Because that fire died down before the first alarm

About three acres were scorched so dad ran inside

To grab the wieners before the rest of the fire died


All of our faces were covered in soot

We took off our shoes and examined each foot

Everyone couldn’t have been more pissed-off and tired

When dad came back with bologna because the weeners were expired



Dad’s got us three kids and step-mom up for hire

We just put out his Great Pasture Fire

You know I ain’t a picky eater and I don’t like to complain

When it comes to weener roasting I’m gonna abstain

Well I’ve witnessed some messes, this one takes the cake

If you fire up a grill, just cook me a steak

It’s all a true story you can’t call me a liar

That’s how we all survived The Great Pasture Fire!